They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
this is an emotional support booty call
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
