You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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