I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
