I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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