She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
