Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
