is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
