Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.

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(817): View more from Texas

look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby

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(989): View more from Michigan

Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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(416): View more from Toronto

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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(516): View more from New York

If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.

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(817): View more from Texas

Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk

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