Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
