Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
