I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sorry about my life...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
