i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
