I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
