Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Farmville is her only friend.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
