Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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