and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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