Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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