He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
