My brain says no but my pants say off.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
they're like a gay fantastic four
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
