Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's official drugs can't kill me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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