i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How's work?
Spinning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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