My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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