I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my sisters under your porch take her home
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
