I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
