sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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