that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
