When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
