I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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