you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
