how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
