either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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