Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize