I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
