she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
