i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
