I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
