Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
