Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
