I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
