Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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