you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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