omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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