I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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