he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
