margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
