I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize