hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
