i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
