ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
