I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
