I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
