dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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