im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
