You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
