Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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