he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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