i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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