He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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