I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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