my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
