well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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