Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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