My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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